I have a story to share.
I mentioned earlier that this action was my revenge for the disappearance of a free distributor I used to like,
but there are other reasons as well.
I believe this other reason is the most significant underlying principle behind my actions this time.
To be honest, I was reluctant to share this story because I feared his death would be permanently etched into the internet,
but I felt that if I didn’t speak up, I might end up regretting it later, so I’m sharing it here.
I mentioned earlier that something good had happened, but shortly after that, the worst possible thing happened to me.
To cut to the chase, a friend of mine committed suicide.
He was a low-level staff member like me, handling various tasks, but when ILLUSION went bankrupt, we were all scattered.
Some people didn’t let that get them down and moved on to other parts of the gaming industry, but my friend and I found it very difficult to find new jobs.
I gave up on the gaming industry, switched to a different line of work, and managed to find a job, but my friend couldn’t seem to land one and I think he became mentally unstable.
From there, our opportunities to meet gradually decreased, and I eventually learned of his suicide from another acquaintance.
Honestly, perhaps it’s inevitable that people like me and paid modders would face misfortune just for being in a place like this, but whose fault is it that such a sincere person died?
I can’t help but wonder that.
And I suppose my current actions are probably just me taking it out on others.
My subscription will expire in a month, so this behavior will likely end then. Probably
It's sad, and I won't delve into the truth of this story.
I'll say this from personal experience. I don't want to blame the system, because the topic is relative, but I can be certain of one thing: your friend must have suffered from long-term depression. People can hide depression so that you don't notice it.
Nobody commits suicide overnight.
especially not for such a trivial reason, which is an everyday occurrence for people. It had to be, at most, the final trigger.
Many of my friends have committed suicide, each with long-term mental health issues.(even my grandfather hanged himself a few months ago) I've struggled with depression for 60% of my life, and I've had countless suicidal thoughts. Fortunately, I've long since overcome that (although the depression still lingers deep within).
To escape this, people took drugs, medications, alcohol, and any other substance to numb themselves. Even gas to lighter(I don't recommend it, slowmo, like you're dying, something shit feeling like when Kurotsuchi, Mayuri slowed down the pace Grantz, Szayel Aporro.)
suma sumarum it is like a cancer that must be overcome with a strong will as steel.
Attitude, the environment you live in, ego, many relative things, sometimes it's worth thinking that you could have it worse, sometimes it's worth changing your priorities, sometimes it helps.
I could write a book about it and then I realize there are people in much more fucked up situations than I've experienced.
in my life, no father, no mother, orphanage where a nun tortured children, these are just a few percent of my life.
which gave birth to this "cancer" in me.
But we must live with this, not haved choice bro.
So don't blame places where the problem definitely isn't, because believe me, you don't even know why it happened. Worse still, thinking about it makes you depressed.